Why can my baby self-settle but not re-settle?
Short answer: Sleep pressure
Let’s rewind a bit for the long answer.
Sleep cycles are around 45 minutes and work like this: falling asleep > deep sleep > light sleep > repeat. During the light sleep babies can EASILY wake up fully. As are adults. However, we know how to fall right back to sleep so when morning comes, we don’t even remember that we turned over to get comfortable again. Babies have to learn this skill and we have the voice to sleep train and help them learn, or, we can leave them to it and potentially have sleepless nights and be held hostage in our home due to catnapping.
Self-settling: the skill of falling asleep on one’s own without any help.
Re-settle: self-settling in between sleep cycles.
The reason why initial settling is learned quicker is due to sleep pressure. In other words, they are TIRED. When you ensure your child has appropriate awake times we can expect them to fall asleep in 15 minutes. This isn’t to say they don’t really know how to self-settle if they can do one but not the other but it is easier for them to learn this initial settling first.
When they have relief from that sleep pressure from a 4-6 hour stretch the first part of the night they may wake up. When this happens, IT’S OKAY! Stick to the plan, routine, and/ or sleep training method of your choosing and stay consistent. They will learn!
DISCLAIMER: Keeping your child up for longer periods does not mean their sleep pressure will build and they will sleep longer.
This is when we need to pay attention to awake times. If you try to put your little one down too early they will fight sleep because they are not tired enough and if you put them down too late the sleep hormones do the opposite of what you might think they should. Cortisol- the stress hormone that gives you a second wind when you’ve stayed up too late. It spikes! And melatonin- the hormone that makes you feel sleepy. It drops.
What you can do to help teach your child to self settle:
If your baby is about 3-12 months, go in about 10 minutes before they normally wake up, place your hand on their chest and gently rock them. If this is too stimulating, you can just rest your hand on their chest.
Make sure they have a great sleep environment! Dark room, white noise, dressed appropriately for the temperature, no distractions (i.e. mobiles), etc.
Teach them to find and replace their own dummy/ paci.
Over 1 year you can introduce a stuffed animal, blanket, lovey, etc.
Get in touch! I would love to help if you are at the end of the road and need some help.
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